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Attachment Isn’t Just for Kids: What It Means in Adult Relationships

Attachment Isn’t Just for Kids: What It Means in Adult Relationships

by Restored Counseling and Wellness Center | May 3, 2025 | Couples counseling

Attachment Isn’t Just for Kids: What It Means in Adult Relationships Understanding Attachment Styles in Couples Therapy One of the most common concepts that comes up in couples therapy is attachment theory. While it’s often associated with early childhood development,...
Our Take on the Gottman Four Horsemen: Does It Mean the End of the Relationship?

Our Take on the Gottman Four Horsemen: Does It Mean the End of the Relationship?

by Restored Counseling and Wellness Center | Apr 2, 2025 | Couples counseling

Our Take on the Gottman Four Horsemen: Does It Mean the End of the Relationship? When Rachel and David walked into therapy, they sat on opposite ends of the couch, arms crossed, eyes heavy with exhaustion. “I don’t know if this is even worth it...
How to Navigate Conflict in a Relationship Without Causing Harm

How to Navigate Conflict in a Relationship Without Causing Harm

by Restored Counseling and Wellness Center | Mar 22, 2025 | Couples counseling

Fighting Fair: How to Navigate Conflict in a Relationship Without Causing Harm Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. How you argue, however, determines whether your relationship strengthens or suffers. Fighting fair means expressing your needs, emotions, and...
The Importance of Identifying and Talking About Relationship Expectations in Marriage

The Importance of Identifying and Talking About Relationship Expectations in Marriage

by Restored Counseling and Wellness Center | Nov 17, 2024 | Couples counseling, Couples Therapy

The Importance of Identifying and Talking About Relationship Expectations in Marriage When we enter a marriage or long-term partnership, we do so with hopes and dreams for a shared future. We imagine the companionship, support, and love we’ll build together. But...
Going All In – Committing to the Couples Therapy Process

Going All In – Committing to the Couples Therapy Process

by Restored Counseling and Wellness Center | Jul 13, 2024 | Couples counseling

Going All In – Committing to the Couples Therapy Process Deciding to start couples therapy can be difficult, especially if only one partner is on board. In fact, we recommend only starting couples therapy if both partners are committed and ready to change....
Running a business as a couple isn’t for everyon Running a business as a couple isn’t for everyone—but for us, it works. We genuinely like building mission-driven things together, and a big part of that is how we’ve structured our partnership and responsibilities. A few years ago, we used the Fair Play cards to divide up household responsibilities, and we haven’t had to revisit the chore conversation since! It’s low-drama, high-respect—and it’s one of the reasons we work so well together, in business and at home.
No one really teaches us how to connect emotionall No one really teaches us how to connect emotionally—how to slow down, be honest, and stay open when things get hard. We didn’t have the tools, so we drifted. Life got busy, and we ended up feeling more like roommates than partners. But connection is a skill. It takes practice, not perfection. EFT and the inner work helped us learn how to really show up for each other again. Your relationship can feel like home. 💗
Are you the 2.5x speed partner or the 1x speed one Are you the 2.5x speed partner or the 1x speed one in your relationship?

Maybe you’re the “go go go” while they’re the “pause and process.”

Maybe you fight, they freeze.

Maybe you feel like too much… or not enough.

These invisible, unspoken pressures can lead to deep misunderstandings. But when you name the patterns, allow each other to move at your own pace, and stay curious instead of critical… something shifts. There’s room for growth. 

Let us know - what’s your speed in your relationship? Do you try to merge… or make space for each other’s rhythms?
Emotional closeness is often the foundation for ph Emotional closeness is often the foundation for physical intimacy — and ideally, both partners want and need both. Which one tends to lead can depend on what feels most natural, safe, or familiar… sometimes shaped by culture, past experiences, or simply the day you’re having.

It’s all part of connection.

That said, relationship science shows that emotional intimacy activates the brain’s trust and safety systems — reducing stress and increasing our capacity for physical closeness. For many people, especially in long-term partnerships, emotional safety helps the nervous system feel ready for physical intimacy. 🧠❤️

When we feel seen, safe, and connected, physical touch feels more meaningful — a way of reinforcing the bond, not just expressing it.
How to Engage in Healthy Conflict (Without Blowing How to Engage in Healthy Conflict (Without Blowing Up or Shutting Down!) 

Conflict isn’t the enemy—disconnection is. Here’s a step-by-step way to engage in healthy, connected conflict that actually brings you closer. 

1. State the event (objectively):
“When you didn’t text me back last night…”

2. Say something positive:
“I was really looking forward to catching up with you after our day.”

3. Share how you felt:
“I felt dismissed and anxious.”

4. Share the “story I tell myself”:
“The story I tell myself is that I’m not important to you. That probably comes from my childhood—when I didn’t feel prioritized or emotionally safe. I know that’s not necessarily what’s happening here, but that’s why this feels so big to me. Sharing it helps me take ownership of my reaction and helps you understand why I get triggered.”

5. Say what you need:
“In the moment, I really needed a quick check-in—even a ‘Hey, can’t talk right now.’ In the future, it would help me feel secure if we could agree to communicate that way.”

PARTNER’S TURN: Hold space, not defenses:
	•	Empathize: “I totally get how that brought up something deep for you. That makes sense.”
	•	Acknowledge impact over intentions: “I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I see that it did. I’m really sorry.”
	•	Commit authentically: “I hear that this is important to you. I can definitely be more intentional about checking in—it matters to me too.”
	•	Reconnect physically or emotionally in a way that feels good for both of you
	•	Ask: “Is there anything else you need right now?”

❤️Healthy conflict isn’t about winning—it’s about understanding and repairing. It won’t always be easy, but it can be worth it.

🔖 Save this post for the next time you’re in a tough conversation and need a roadmap back to connection.

Restored Counseling & Wellness Center is an LGBTQIA+ affirming space. All are welcome here. 

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480-256-2829

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info@restoredcw.com

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